Take Accountibilty for Behavior

I have debated on whether to write about this on my blog or keep it in my personal journal and I have decided to share. Donnie and I went through a rough patch and decided to seek some counseling. One of the first things that we learned while at counseling was about perception checking. When you perception check the first thing you do is describe(sensory) how you are feeling what is making you upset and why. The second thing you do is interpret their feelings. Making sure you give a couple of interpretations. Give them a chance to explain themselves and if your interpretation is incorrect let them describe to you again. The third thing is to give them feed back ask them what they mean and try and understand fully. I will give you an example that our counselor used to help us understand. Your husband is getting home from work he opens the front door and it slams loudly behind him. You being the wife perceive that something is wrong. You might be thinking he is mad at you because the yard work is not done.. Because you perceive this you become angry and on edge and the arguing begins. Instead of becoming angry when the front door closes loud ask your husband why he slammed the door and let him describe. Make sure that you do not interrupt and listen closely. You will then try and interpret what he is saying giving him a couple of your interpretations. Listen to the feedback and go from there. Do not begin a shouting match at one another listen to each other and remember that we each have our own perception so it is very important to ask questions because we cannot read minds. I would like to leave you with this "WE ARE EACH RESPONSIBLE FOR 100% OF THE PROBLEM."